Tubby: Frankie went to Hollywood. (blinking tears away)
Signore Pizzicato: Relax! Don't do it.
Tubby: B-but m-maybe if I go there, I can get in pictures.
Signore Pizzicato: You oughta be in pictures.
Tubby: Do me a favor, d-dump some more of that condensed onion juice into my bell?
Signore Pizzicato: You oughta be a star! (dumping entire gallon of onion juice in)
Tubby: B-but I can't even cry on command. (gargly noises) What kind of film star would I make.
Signore Pizzicato: But Tubby, you are already a film star. (motioning towards the film crew and stop motion animation crew) See?
(The conductor holds up his wand and looks around the stage at all the instruments. All the instruments stand to attention, take a deep breath, and begin. As soon as Tubby joins in, a geyser of onion juice {mixed with that godawful stuff that gathers in the innermost tubes and resevoirs of Tubby's innards} spewed over the three front rows of the audience, and quite drenches Signore Pizzicato. The orchestra stops and everyone glares at Tubby).
Tubby: (sniff) S-s-sorry, everybody.
Director: CUT!!!!!!! What the fuck was that?!
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