Thursday, June 18, 2015

Micro Mini Cool

Penny and Penny each strode to the Soups and Pasta aisle, each full of the urge for confrontation, and stared down it at each other as Mama seemingly wove incomprehensible plans of her own on that Time Pilot cabinet.

Pennywise broke the silence first.

"I think it's time to put a new record on the turntable, Bags.

It's strange that it's all gone so wrong... these guys freaking on the floor before us... these spiderwebs of horror... Don't you agree?"

"It's always the small things, young man."

"...Sigh. You were always so crude, and you haven't changed."

"And so refined about it, Wiseguy!"

"And so refined. Yes, she was small. But she's no thing."

"She's a thing for us. A prize. I'm just honest about it."

"...It didn't have to be."

"But it is."

"But it is, but... she was such a treasure. I mean, a good person. Great to be around. Cool!"

"I am not interested in 'cool,' young man."

Pennywise ignored him. "Why did we go to the store late last night looking for this fight?"

(Jose checked his watch. It really was a new morning... where had the time gone?)

"I no longer care about the girl. But I won't forget your slights."

"You don't care? Then burn this." Pennywise threw a heavy framed photo at Pennybags. The glass in front shattered as it landed. "You don't care, right?"

The photo of Candace was shoulders-up, so here she stood as tall as anyone. Her smile in it could radiate happiness into the hardest of hearts. Pennybags lost his composure after just a glance, then regained it. "It doesn't matter. She's gone," he sniffed.

"You mean she's gone to where we wouldn't follow."

"I'll only follow without you. That's why you're going to die, Wiseguy."

"I know you'd only follow without me. And for years, I would have only followed without you. But now, you're going to follow me."

The scenery began to change. The characters did not. "I'm sorry," muttered Pennywise.

Penny for Candy

As it turns out, Pennybags and Pennywise both adored Candy.  And they both went to extremes to taste a little.
 Like infiltrating the store and rewiring the security system.  Like conning Joe and his crew, as well as the British Hawklord rockers into acting as a distraction.
Like creating an entire virtual computer landscape to house the secret.

You see, Candy was no ordinary virtual concubine.  She had once been a real girl.  Like an inverse female digital Pinocchio, she had become their private puppet.  And she just happened to be Lemtata's long lost sister Candace.

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Now, Lem! Go the Synthesizer Way!

"...Mark," Lemtata sighed a few minutes later, now back down in her seat in the booth, her eyes still painfully watering from the local atmosphere. "I mean it's a niggl - ummm, ermmm, umm. It's a minor point, I mean we all agree that, uh guy? with that gun was a jerk and that I acted in self-defense. Why do you care if I used my fist or my floss?" Mama Brain nodded agreement.

"Because you're making shit up, that's why." Mark said slowly, while subconciously pulling on his green workman's suspenders. "Yer makin' shit up!" Fast this time. "Those are MY pants. You know that. I know that," he added, sniffling a little snot onto his sleeve. "I loaned them to you. You know. I know. AND I DIDN'T HAVE FLOSS IN MY POCKET. I don't. Ever. 'Cuz that would be weird. C'mon, you hit him. Weren't nobody out there with you to see if you did or not. But all you had were yer fists. Y'hit him."

Mark was the kind of leftover childhood friend that you'd like to get rid of, but you'd kind of feel guilty. And hey, at least they'll loan you a pair of pants when you haven't managed to do the laundry in a week.

"Well... maybe just once you did have floss in your pocket? Just a weird coincidence?"

"Righhht, Lem. Or maybe you slipped a box of floss in the pocket where you were changin' into them in the bathroom here. Magic floss. No-bulge magic floss."

"Uhhh... you were staring at my leg, Mark?" Mark blushed.

"Hey boys," said Mama out of her undying love for confusing Mark. "Girl talk time. And Lem here needs some fresh air." Mama and Lem stepped outside, gasping in relief the moment they did.

After regaining her breath, Lemtata asked, "What is it, Mom? If it's about introducing you to my boyfriend, the answer is still no. He's kind of weird. Anyway, what is it?"

"Lem, I never knew you were one of us. But you are."

"What are you talking about?!"

"You can synthesize."


"Make shit up. But for real. From... atoms, I guess."

"You mean like that floss? Fuck you, I know you like shitting people but this is kind of sick."

"Reach into your pocket, Lem."

Lemtata pulled out a bouquet of dandelions.

"I never knew you cared!"

"Fuck you. Hey... looks like I can't control this? Pick what I get and when and why? Like, can you?"

"...Kind of? Not much? I guess... not? So? Anyway. Will you use it for good?"

"Like a cop?"

"Sure, uh, OK, like a cop." Mama Brain reached into her purse with her eyes closed and handed a confetti-gilded statuette of Ganesh to Lemtata. "This is your badge. I say so. What is it?"

"Some... elephant thing? Looks like a stoner art project."

"Well, that's your badge. Wear it with pride."


"...Bear it with pride?"

"I guess."

"Oh, I should also tell you about Geo--"

...but just then, Mama Brain was hauled off with no justification by a Police car, with Andy Summers at the wheel.