Wednesday, April 3, 2019

Parsing Industries

The year was 1967.  Ray Eawest had been part of a government project called Operation Space Owl.  Until this very moment, its secrets have not been told. Several small nuclear meltdowns had occurred in both the U.S. and the Soviet Union since the first reactors came online. The news of these meltdowns was repressed by both governments, but the level of long term crisis had surpassed even the deepest cold war sentiments of mistrust or ill will between the two Powers, and a secret deal was worked out, mainly due to Joe Eawest accidentally dosing his own Dad with Mushrooms. With the space race in full swing, an absurd idea had occurred to the psilocybin ridden Raymond Eawest. His excitement in the revelation erased any anger he'd initially had with his son, and, still tripping, he went to work at the grindstone of diplomacy to accomplish an amazing task, one he never got to take credit for. Operation Space Owl was basically off-planet barging of hazardous materials, Ray Eawest formed conglomerate called Parsing Industries to maintain more control of the process.  Phase One consisted of placing 2500 tonnes of spent uranium cartridges on the far side of the moon via a drop while the lem was passing in orbit.  Phase Two, when the real trouble began, involved sending much bigger barges of toxic and highly radioactive garbage randomly into space, and more and more frequently. What nobody thought to speculate on was where of it would ever end up.  As it turns out, the inhabitants of several planets and planetoids in the Alpha Centari sector were quite decimated by the toxic barges. A council was formed and a decision was made.










Monday, April 1, 2019

Michael Moorcock has intercourse with his Demonic Female Twin

Ralf awoke from his nap. 
His toe, he started to tap,
As the cobwebs withdrew,
He noticed a tru-ly wondrous
Rhythm and Rapt--

Then Ralf walked on down the hall,
He thought he'd find the band's squall,
Sorry for the shlock, but much to his shock,
What he found was Lady Michael Moorcock.

Then Moorcock pulled out an Axe,
To Lady Moorcock he gave forty whacks,
Lizzy Borden burst in and grinning a grin,
She said hey this is forgery you sonsuvbitches.