Phat and Sharpie

Mark, Mama Brain, and Lem were only looking for a dropped contact lens.

That's when shit went really Tarantino Apeshit on everyone involved.  First of all, man,
she wouldn't have been looking for it (the contact lens) in the first fucking place if the heinous smoke from the dive bar's too-small kitchen wasn't liberally billowing out onto the non-food-ordering public, causing her to rub her eyes uncontrollably, dislodging her lens and causing her to duck down and search--

==

--JUST AS several bullets shattered the window next to Lemtata.

The perp was a waif of a girl man, a skinny, cracked out Tranny who made trannies look bad.   At least a crackhead and probably an all out junkie omnidruggie, three highs short of an overdose, but that would take too long.  Lemtata stood up suddenly, and grabbed the nearest thing she could think of and lunged at the guy, even though he was four feet away through the newly blasted window, and standing nonchalantly holding a Gatt, on the sidewalk.

In two seconds she was holding the super fat Mega Sharpie she'd picked up off the counter, under his nose with the lid off.  The super fat aroma of the fumes made his nose drool, and he was caught off guard just long enough for Lemtata to root around in her jean jacket pocket and pull out--

--dental floss.  What the fuck!?

Thinking on her feet, Lemtata pulled out length upon length of floss and in three seconds had  fashioned a floss Garott, and was strangling the shemale into submission.  Police had to pry her hands from his throat, but she was never charged.

The incident would live on in infamy as the day Lem became a super cop.