Phonobaloon Song

It was Pennybags. MUSIC MAKES ME GROW! he cackled disturbingly between laughs. MUSIC MAKES ME GROW! And he was large. It seemed to be true.

The lead singer of Kraftpark saw him, but unafraid, he said drolly in the badly faked German accent that was a part of his act, "Isn't your plan a bit stoo-pid?"

I AM NOT THAT SIMPLE, P-bags cackled and chuckled again.

"Yah, vee'll see. Zee Phonobaloon Song, guyss!"

Pennybags, fortunately, had not had time to think his plan through. He was unused to his newfound size and undextrous within it, was too clumsy to be all that destructive, though not for lack of trying. He lumbered towards the stage. Menacingly at first, but -

The marshmallow-cuckoo-clock tones of the Phonobaloon Song rapidly worsened his weakness. It inflated him much more rapidly than Milk Rock had. He swelled and ballooned. He floated into the air. The concert hall transformed into a stadium, and nobody felt it was strange. Pennybags floated higher and higher. Everyone present accepted that reality was malleable that day, and would have looked at you funny if you called it funny.

Pennybags floated higher still. He finally remembered to shoot lasers from his eyes, but it was too late. They danced colorfully across the stadium, and the crowd roared in psychedelic delight.

"Bye, George... I think I've got it..." Pennybags sighed as he floated off south over the Canadian-US border. Pilots that evening reported that the giant floating man seemed resigned, and defeated, but healthy. (Most of those pilots were then promptly fired for suspected mental illness or drug use.)



Not much later, Glenn Danzig sighed in relief and addressed our other protagonists in his best "you know I'm a protagonist too, right?" voice, cutting straight to the point:

"Uhh... where's Lemmy?"